


What is Love?

by sleepyfaceandsnark (teamwinchesterbros)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: (i'll add more when I do part 2), Angst, Breakups, Future Fic, M/M, Short, Song Lyrics, Texting, reaquainting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:18:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamwinchesterbros/pseuds/sleepyfaceandsnark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes things just don't work out...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> was gonna do both parts but then i got tired :/

 

 _Where you going_  
Why you leaving so soon?  
Is there somewhere else that is better for you  
  


_What is love if you're not here with me_  
What is love if it's not guaranteed  
What is love if it just ups and leaves  
What is love if you're not here no more  
What is love if you're not really sure  
What is love  
  


 _Told myself I wouldn't cry when you're gone_  
But I know its easier said than done  
Look at me, look at me  
Choked up now  
Trying to tell you but it won't come out

 

* * *

 

 

Ian zips up his last bag as Mickey stands in the doorway.

“How you getting there?”

Ian shrugs. “No one really volunteered. Guess I’ll just take the bus.”

Mickey shakes his head. “Nah it’ll take 2 hours on that. Plus you don’t want all those bags laying around. Some asshole will probably try to take em”

Not like Ian cared much but Mickey did have a point.

“I’ll drive you.” Mickey says numbly.

“You don’t have-“

“I know I don’t.”

Mickey grabs a bag near Ian. “Is this it?”

“Yeah that’s all my stuff.”

Mickey nods and heads for the door.

“Thanks.” Ian says before Mickey walks out of the room totally. Mickey says nothing.

The drive is quiet. “Their” song only came on twice. Though that “ _only”_ doesn’t count as Mickey turned the radio off after he recognized the first few notes again.

They sit in silence the rest of the way. Ian staring blankly out the passenger window rubbing his fingers as Mickey stares at the road, gripping the steering wheel.  

“Turn down here?” Mickey says after at least 15 minutes of no noise.

“Uh yeah. Then a right at the stop sign. Should be the third house on the left.”

Mickey nods and follows Ian’s directions. He puts the car in park in front of the small house Ian told him to.

“Welp.” Mickey looks out the passenger window. “This it?”

“Yeah this is…yeah.” Ian stares down at the bags by his feet.

“Need some help?”

“Nah I got it.” He looks out the passenger window that Mickey was looking at and quickly wipes his hand across his face. Trying to stop the water from his eyes but they come anyways.

Mickey waits.

Ian turns to him slowly, his face wet and puffy. It shocks Mickey but he keeps his emotionless face held.

“Mickey…” Ian starts to beg.

Mickey shakes his head, he’s almost angry but he was too tired of anger long ago. “Get out.”

Ian looks at Mickey with his puppy eyes Mickey once loved. “I don’t want to. Please…”

Mickey leans over and opens Ian’s door for him. “Stop that shit. You can’t do that. You don’t get to.”

Ian nods and looks back down at his bags.

“I’ll help you with your bags if you need to but after that I’m out.”

Ian swallows hard and nods again. “Is this it? We’re never gonna see each other again?”

“Isn’t that what you prefer?”

“Of course not!”

Mickey sighs and takes a cigarette out of is pack. He needs one. “It’s what you said.” He says with the stick between his lips.

“I didn’t mean it. Not really.”

Mickey shrugs and blows out the smoke. “Better this way. Less painful.”

“For you maybe.”

Mickey waits again. Doesn’t say anything just waits. Waits for Ian to get out of the car, waits for him to get out of his life. Once and for all. (Though he should’ve known that wouldn’t last)

Ian waits too. Waits for Mickey to stop him from leaving, waits for Mickey to forgive him. Waits for Mickey to tell him this whole idea was a stupid mistake and to throw his bags in the back and take off. Go back home, go be with each other again. But he doesn’t. So Ian exits the car. He does this because what he can give Mickey right now is what he deserves. Some peace.

They don’t have any departing words, any last “maybe I’ll see you around’s” Ian just turns to his new “home” and Mickey drives away. Their song haunts Mickey another two times before Mickey gives up on the device. Tempted to just tear the fucking thing out so he wouldn’t have to hear it ever again, but then again he’s more terrified of the silence.

People will ask them what happened. Did they drift apart? Did one cheat on the other? Did they just stop loving each other?

The thing was. It wasn’t any of those. Just a night of drunken yelling that turned into too much nights of drunken yelling and things being said that neither meant.

Until one suggested they “just fucking split up.” And the room went quiet and the other agreed.

So they did.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Accidents happen and things come together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are texting and the crossouts is what Ian ..crossed out ha
> 
>  
> 
> ( might've listened to ride by lana for this part haha idk)

Months after their separation Mickey finds himself going through a bit of a midlife crisis (even though he is still a decade away from it). Ian called a lot after Mickey left him at his house but Mickey never answered. Eventually the calls stop coming. Mickey makes some dumb decisions in their time apart. His first one is buying a motorcycle and his second is crashing in the goddamn motorcycle.

It’s not a bad crash, least not as bad as it could’ve been. Mickey is taken to the hospital with a broken arm and he hit his head pretty badly. There was talk of him maybe having to stay the night if there wasn’t anyone who could come get him, which there wasn’t, so Mickey waits patiently for the doctor to come back a give him a bed. He’s not to found of the idea of spending the night so as he’s thinking of a way to sneak out of the hospital he hears the door open.

Ah shit.

He can hear the doctor talking right away but it’s not to him. “…now he might have a concussion so we ask that you keep an eye on him.”

Mickey is confused as to who the doctor is talking to. He almost chalks it up to his injured head or maybe the doctor made a mistake on the room numbers but then he sees who it is.

He watches as the redhead nods to the doctor’s orders and Mickey just stares. He shakes his head furiously. This fucking crash was worse than he though.

“Are you alright Mr. Milkovivch? Do you feel dizzy?”

“What? Yeah. M’fine.” He was feeling a little dizzy but not because of the crash. “What’s he….” He starts. “What’re you doing here?” He decides to say to Ian instead.

“You had Mr.  Gallagher as one of your ICE numbers.”

ICE? In case of emergency. Shit he set that up forever ago. Well Ian set it up. Was terrified if something happened to one of them and the other wouldn’t know. Funny how they use it when they’re not even together.

“Oh…right.”

The doctor clears his throat. “I’ll leave you two alone. Take care of that arm. Come back in a week.”

Mickey agrees and watches the doctor leave. Ian just stares at the ground. “They called me. Said I was one of your emergency contacts.” He shuffles his feet across the floor. “Thought it meant something.” He laughs sadly. “Then I realized. You probably didn’t remember to change it.”

“Didn’t even think of it.” Mickey said frankly.

Ian nods. “I was…fuck…I’m glad you’re okay.”

Mickey looks at him, face bruised, arm in a sling.  
“Well…mostly okay. You hear motorcycle accident and you think the worst you know?”

“Yeah…”

“What were you doing on one of those anyway?”

“What’re you gonna lecture me?”

“No. I guess not.”

“Thought so.” Mickey hops off where he was sitting. He grabs his jacket. “Look if you could just drop me off at my place? Kinda don’t have a mode of transportation anymore.” He had, through Mandy, sold Ian the car before he bought the motorcycle. Figured one of them should have it.

Ian shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you there.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You heard the doctor.”

Mickey rolls his eyes. “What you gonna watch me?”

“Well yeah. I’m not having you slip into a coma because of me.”

“That shit doesn’t even happen really. Least not often.”

Ian’s not budging. “I could just leave you here. Say something else came up and you can’t be released into my ‘care’”

Mickey stares at Ian. Ian knew how much he hated hospitals. “Fuck. Fine!” Mickey walks to the door defeated and pissed. Ian has to follow him, Mickey walking out the door like he knew where Ian parked. Though he manages to find the car anyways.

They don’t talk the ride to what was once their house. Ian stays quiet because he’s not sure what to say after seeing Mickey for the first time in months and the fact that he’s only seeing him now because of a rare accident involving something Mickey swore he’d never get on and him forgetting to change his ICE contacts. Mickey wants to blame the silence on his accident, though he was starting to grow tired from the pain meds and probably from whatever injury his head suffered.

His eyes are about to close when he feels the jerk of Ian putting the brakes on.

“Here.” He says announcing them pulling into the front of the house.

“You gotta jerk the car when you stop?” Mickey holds his head. Ian never did fuckin learn how to properly apply the brakes.

They get to the door and Ian notices the knob looks different.

“You change the locks?”

“Mhmm.” Mickey says getting his keys out. “Had to. Kept finding Carl waiting for me on my couch.”

“My brother?”

“Yup. Thought he knew more about our relationship then I did.”

Ian rubs his head as Mickey gets the door open. “Forgot I gave him a key. Sorry. He had no business.”

Mickey waves him off and yawns. “We can’t all control what our family does.”

Mickey walks in and plops on the couch as Ian checks the time. It’s nearing dinner time.

“When did you last eat?”

Mickey shrugs. “Got up late so…noon I guess.”

“You should eat. Do you have any food here?”

Mickey laughs. “There should be leftovers in the fridge.”

Ian nods and looks inside. He takes out the Chinese food and puts his nose to it. He pulls it back quickly, almost gagging. “Jesus Christ, Mickey. How old is this?”

“What it’s not that bad?” He gets up and walks to Ian. He looks in. “Okay…that’s bad.” He pokes a noodle and he swears it crawls after his finger.

“If you’re gonna have leftover you shouldn’t keep it in that.” Ian says throwing the food in the trash near them. “And you definitely shouldn’t keep if for a week.”

“It hasn’t been a week!” Okay…maybe it has been a week… or more.

Ian shakes his head and takes out his phone, calling for a pizza.

They go back to not talking. Besides Mickey complaining that he can’t watch tv or play video games cause they make his head feel weird now, Ian doesn’t hear anything come from the man. Even when the pizza comes Mickey lifts his head up from looking at the pictures in a magazine and walks over to the table Ian places the pizza on. He gives a thanks to Ian and dives in.

A few hours after the sun goes down Mickey falls asleep like he wanted to do in the car and is woken up an hour later.

 “What the fuck!” he yells after he feels a forceful nudge.

“Have to wake you every hour,” Ian says. “Or was it every other…” He yawns. "I don't remember"

Mickey groans and rubs his eyes. “You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want…I’m not supposed to let you fall into a coma.”

“I’m not gonna fall into a fuckin coma just let me sleep.”

“But the doctor said.”

“Fuck the doctor! What do you care anyways?”

“W-what?”

Mickey didn’t really mean to let that out. He’s just tired…yeah tired. “Look. I’ve had concussions before. I know what they feel like and this ain’t it. So just… just let me sleep. Okay?”

Ian nods slowly.

“You can wake me in the morning if you’re still not sure.” Worried. Mickey was going to say. Ian’s not worried. Mickey thinks. Worry is for friends and family and him and Ian are neither.

Mickey wakes the next morning, feeling much better. That is until he looks around and realizes Ian is no longer there.

He’s mad at himself for missing Ian’s presence after being away from him for months and months and only being with him for a few hours.

“Fuckin’ shit.” He says to himself. He goes to the fridge and sees the leftover pizza put into tuber ware. He sighs and looks at the note he finds on the counter.

_~~Sorry~~ Hope you’re feeling better. ~~Stay off of motorcycles~~.  –Ian              _

Mickey sighs and rub his head. He takes out his phone and opens his texts. He finds Ian’s name. He ignores the ancient “I love you” texts and starts typing.

Thanks for taking care…….He deletes.      

 _Mickey: Thanks for watching me :)_ _. Sorry I was such a shit._ … he almost deletes but he sends anyways.

He puts his phone down and walks away to the fridge, not expecting a text back. He takes out a piece of pizza and hears a buzz as the vibration of his phone reacts to being on the counter.

He walks over to his phone.

_Ian: No problem ;)_

Mickey laughs. Winky face?

He gets a text back right away.

 _Ian: Shit not winky face just :). :)_ _face._

_Mickey: You sure you’re not winking at me Gallagher?_

_Ian: Positive._

_Mickey: What if…I wanted you to though?_

Fuckin stupid. What are you doing?

He doesn’t get a message back and he decides to leave his phone and focus his attention on the cold pizza in his other hand.

He swallows his food as he hears his phone vibrate again.

_Ian: Then full on ;) for that message. ;) for the one after as well._

_Mickey: Such a fuckin dork._

They text for a while. Text about shit they should’ve been talking about yesterday. What both have been up to? Nothing. They both say. They talk about the White Socks fucking shit up again and how they at least had the Blackhawks to root for when hockey season came around. They talk about some new games Mickey had gotten for cheap out of some guy’s trunk and Ian talks about all the Tom Hardy movies he marathoned.

_Mickey: Without me?_

*not delivered*

Probably for the best.

_Mickey: Love me some Tom Hardy_

It gets sent.

_Ian: He’s the best._

_Mickey: Abso-fuckin-lutely_

_Ian: :)_ _  
_

Mickey waits….and waits…and waits. He breathes in and sighs.

_Mickey: …_

_Mickey: I_

_Mickey: shit this fucking phone keeps sending._

_Mickey: I m_

_Mickey: Dammit_

_Mickey: Fuck_

_Mickey: I MISS YOIU!_

All caps? Really phone?

He sighs sadly when he sees nothing back. Not even a … indicating Ian was typing or whatever. Nothing. He puts his phone far away from him and goes over to turn on his tv and puts one of his new games in. He’s at the start menu when he hears the small buzz again. He walks over to where he left his phone preparing for the worst.

_Ian: I miss you too._

_Ian: So fucking much._

_Ian: I was stupid to…I’m sorry._

_Ian: Can we start over?_

Yes. Yes a million times fucking yes. Mickey grins.

_Mickey: Fuck yeah. But not like all over cause that’d be weird._

_Ian: Lol. Would be a little awkward._

They set up a time to meet again, sometime the following week.

And they go slow. Or as slow as they could given their history.

Their bond grows even stronger than it had been and years later they use their split as a small story to tell everyone that asked about them. About how that one time everything was almost fucked over. “But we would’ve found our way back to each other eventually” They reassure them. Eventually, like they always do.


End file.
